You’re (not) a slave to the voices in your head
I figured out what reel the team can make this weekend,
Decided what I’d have for breakfast,
Remembered a piece of work I must finish today,
Decided what I’d share with my meditation group about my session experience,
Planned my training session, time and duration and what I wanted to eat beforehand,
Realised a mistake I’d made on yesterday’s podcast release,
And ran through the list of things I had to say to a client in our call.
It was 6.15am,
My meditation bell had chimed a mere 90 seconds beforehand,
90 seconds of the daily 25 minutes I am doing for my meditation teacher training,
And already I’d had 7 conversations with myself,
Already I was tired of the voices in my head.
For those of you who don’t know,
These 25-minute sessions are unguided and silent,
Something I don’t do often enough,
I’ve been taking the easy way out for the past few years and sticking on a guided meditation before sleep and ticking my meditation box,
But it shows in my practice.
You don’t get results for the work you didn’t do.
Something that’s changed in only 3 days is how compassionate I am with myself already,
Instead of on day 1 getting frustrated at myself for not doing ‘well enough’,
I actively soothe myself when my mind wonders with a phrase I’ve created,
“It’s ok, breathe”.
But it’s been a stark reminder of just how loud the voices in our head are,
The stories they tell us,
The criticism,
Planning,
Overthinking,
Ruminating.
But you are not your thoughts.
I’ve been answering a lot of questions this week,
“It’s hard not to talk negatively to myself”
“I can’t help but feel guilt and shame after I overeat”
“I’m anxious about socialising because I’m an introvert”
“I’m not good enough to do this job”.
My god people,
Imagine speaking to your best mate like that,
How would you feel if someone outside started talking to you the way your inner voice does?
What the frick kind of results are you expecting when that is your internal dialogue?
The way I see it,
You have two choices.
You can tell yourself all the stories under the sun about how you’re not good enough,
That it’s too hard,
That you’re a failure,
That you’re not confident,
That the way you eat is just how you are,
That the piece of cake you ate is going to go straight to your mid-section, add 1kg on to your scale weight tomorrow and shows that you have no self-control or willpower so you may as well give up.
Or, you can choose not to entertain those stories,
Come back to the present,
Replace criticism with curiosity,
And remind yourself,
It’s ok, breathe.
As Michael Singer says,
There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind — you are the one who hears it.
This for me was transformative,
And it doesn’t mean I don’t hear the little devils in my head,
But now I can recognise them having a party,
And switch them off,
Except maybe during 25 minutes of meditation but I am learning ok.
Ryan Holiday shared a post this week,
He said:
There is no such thing as ‘quality’ time,
Time is time,
In fact, as Jerry Seinfeld said, garbage time — eating cereal together late at night, laying on the couch — is actually the best time,
Forget chasing huge experiences,
It’s all wonderful, if you so choose.
Much like I recited it to my mum,
I want to share it with you,
Because many of you waste this quality time,
Drown out the presence with the stories in your head,
Numb the awareness with overeating,
Silence the quality with your inner food police.
You have a choice.
If you struggle with your internal dialogue around food,
Your body,
Your confidence,
Start meditating,
Read The Untethered Soul.
Start coaching with the ETPHD team where we run you through exercises specific to the way you eat and attack your body.
You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience.
