Hating yourself into change doesn’t work

How do I spot reduce fat?
How much weight can I lose in 8 weeks?
When should I weigh myself after a holiday?

Just a few of the questions we’ve had on our joint lives this week,
I’m back with Em in Lisbon if you didn’t know,
Sunning our nips on the rooftop and yoni-blocking each other on socials,
And it’s super interesting to me,
To hear focused fat-loss talk again.

I know what you think,
ETPHD is anti-diet,
They force you to accept your body,
Eat intuitively,
ETPHD WONT LET YOU DIET.

I’d say 50% of our clients are on a diet,
We just don’t share transformation pictures,
Because they show nothing of health,
Relationship with food,
And generally,
What happens after the diet.

They’re problematic to anyone struggling with their body image,
With their mindset around food and exercise.
And given many of you are,
It would be super unethical of me to do so.

So many of you think,
I want fat loss,
I don’t want to accept myself as I am,
I want to change,
But you won’t admit it to me,
Because you fear judgement about wanting to change.

Should I feel guilty about wanting to change?

Here’s the irony.
Change does not take place by coercion,
By abandoning yourself,
Forcing yourself to do the hard thing.

But rather,
Change occurs when you abandon,
At least for a moment,
What you would like to become,
And attempt to be what and where you already are.

You must know who are
Feel sure of where you are,
So you can be strong,
Clear enough to move consistently in the direction towards your goals.

Only when you accept yourself for who you are,
Are you able to truly change.
Sounds counterintuitive,
But is actually a pretty well-established psychological theory.

When you resist, deny or suppress your reality,
You’re changing from an unsteady footing,
You don’t know quite who you are or what you need,
You’re aiming for this ‘ideal self’ that doesn’t exist,
An impossible end point,
Instead of changing your ‘true self’,
Something that you can rely on because it’s already your reality.

I want you to care for your body however you choose,
She’s yours,
No one can ever tell you what to do with her.

But I will always encourage you to accept your reality as it is,
Accept your body for how she shows up and gives you life,
Before considering,
What would I like to change?

Hating yourself into change never worked,
You’ll still feel that same dislike towards your body,
If you even get to the end point,
Because how do you expect to care for something that you hate?
You’ll just find something new to criticise.

I’m not asking you to love your stretch marks
Because despite a fit man once telling me they were sexy,
I too,
Don’t love mine.

But I certainly accept them as part of being human,
Whilst continuing to train my ass off in the gym,
Lols ok — going to the gym at least,
To grow my butt to astronomical dimensions,
Solely for the way that it looks.

So I ask you to do 2 things today.

The first,
Start practicing acceptance,
For your body,
For the way things show up,
For how it is.

Every day breathe into your body and say,
Thanks for showing up how you did today,
I appreciate you.

The second,
Understand that acceptance for your body doesn’t come with fat loss,
But fat loss is a lot easier,
As are any of your goals,
When you first accept where you are,
Commit to caring for your body from the beginning,
Whilst also committing to making a change.

Because you, and your beautiful body,
Are deserving of the best,
From this very second,
Not in 5kg time.